Bullying and Harassment Versus Bad Behavior

Bullying and Harassment Versus Bad Behavior

(Originally Written and Published 11/14/13)


 During a PTO presentation of the movie, Bully, parents spent time viewing real stories of children who have experienced bullying.  These stories are sad and tragic and hopefully help you to understand how potentially harmful Bullying can be for it’s victims and perpetrators.  Statistics prove that children who are bullied have developmental outcomes that are less favorable than children who are not.  The Vermont Department of Health’s 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Survey reports that among students who are bullied, 39% report having felt sad and hopeless within a two week period as compared to only 15% who were not bullied.  Of those 39%, 21% have reported making a suicide plan, and 11% have attempted suicide.  This statistic is not meant to scare, but is meant to spur us to action!      
Provided with the evidence it is easy to see why effort is being put forth to stop bullying in our schools and our communities.  Vermont state law stipulates that schools have protocols in place to prevent, report, and respond to reports bullying, but the importance of this issue requires that we work together as a community to understand and address it.  It is important for parents and educators to be able to distinguish between bullying behavior and general bad behavior so that we might address both in appropriate ways.  
Bullying, by it’s definition is:  “any overt act or combination of acts directed against a student by another student or group of students and which:  is repeated over time;  is intended to ridicule, humiliate, or intimidate the student; and which occurs during the school day on school property, on a school bus, or at school-sponsored activity, or before or after the school day on a school bus or at a school-sponsored activity.”    Harassment is bullying behavior directed at a person who is part of a protected class (race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, disability etc.)  
Can we expect that bullying can be addressed and extinguished?  Yes, we can strive for this.  We can hope to reduce the incidents by bringing awareness to the issue and learning the appropriate avenues of reporting incidents.  Watching Bully this evening is one of the ways of raising awareness.  If a student is bullied, they should:     
  • Make a report to an adult: Most reports are verbal. However, they also can be written if the behavior is considered serious.
  • ALWAYS: Tell parents what concerns you and what you have done to handle it yourself.


If a parent thinks their child is being bullied they should:  
  • Make sure that your child knows about talking to a trusted adult. The value of the child who is being bullied saying something is absolutely key to taking charge of the situation.
  • Let your school administrators know immediately. School office staff has been trained to let their educational leaders know right away if these incidents occur. Please say: “I need to talk with a building administrator about a possible bullying incident.” Give your home, work and cell phone numbers so you can get a prompt response.
  • Fill out / assist your child in filling out a Misconduct/Bullying/Harassment Complaint Form (parent handbook). Working with your child on this is another way of helping your child take charge of the situation.
  • Follow up with a call if you haven’t gotten attention or if you’re not satisfied with the response.


It is important to remember that bullying is a subset of poor conduct.  Someone may be exhibiting poor conduct but not be bullying.  Examples of unacceptable behavior are:  using hands, bodies and objects unsafely, being impolite or inconsiderate, being disrespectful, using profane language, refusals, not taking care of our school materials, not taking responsibility for our actions, hitting, name calling, teasing, interrupting the class, missing a class, and social cruelty.  It is useful to remember that in the process of adolescent development, making mistakes is a way that we learn.  
This is not to say that we encourage our students to go out into the world and make decisions without considering the consequences.  It does mean that when our students makes a poor choices our job as parents and educators is to help them recognize and take responsibility for their actions, learn from them, and make corrective action.  Understanding that from our greatest failure comes our greatest learning is a teaching point that we would be remiss in not passing on to our children.  Developmentally, teens need to form a sense of self and personal identity.  In creating this identity, there will be stumbling blocks from which growth can occur.  
Together we can be there to support our students.

Jennifer Hempey, School Counselor

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