National School Counselor's Week Feb 5th-9th - What is My Role

Sometimes I wonder if people really understand what I do?  A school counselor's work is sometimes so varied that it can be hard to nail down the specifics of the role.  On any given day I can look like a nurse, an administrative assistant, a disciplinarian, a mom, a tutor, a social coach, a cheerleader, a detective, a statistician, an activities director or a social worker.  Knowing that all of these little roles get smooshed together under the umbrella of school counseling, leaves one to wonder about the actual description of the job I, and others like me do.   

The American School Counseling Association describes it this way:  school counselors “help students focus on academic, career and social/emotional development so they achieve success in school and are prepared to lead fulfilling lives as responsible members of society.” In addition, “school counseling programs are collaborative efforts benefiting students, parents, teachers, administrators and the overall community.  School counseling programs should be an integral part of students' daily educational environment, and school counselors should be partners in student achievement (ASCA National Model)  - www.schoolcounselor.org.  This model is important to examine often as it frames the work I do.  Having been in my role as school counselor here at CBMS for some time now, I have been focusing on my practice to ensure that I remain an effective counselor, who supports the needs of all students.    

This is my thirteenth year working at Crossett Brook.  Before that, I worked for one year at Main Street Middle School in Montpelier.  I have loved my job here at CBMS and have come to value the connections I have made, both with staff and students but also with the families and community members with whom I have worked.  Prior to my work at Main Street, I worked as a dorm counselor at Rock Point School in Burlington.  Not many people know about RPS - it’s a small but mighty boarding school for high school students who have social, emotional, or educational differences.  I worked there for five years - one year as a college intern, and the other four as a full-time member of the staff.  I was barely older than the students I was working with at that time, but it taught me so much about relating to teens, and about being able to form lasting and important bonds within the teacher/student relationship.

Why share all of this?  Because it is important to think about what has brought me here.  In relation to my job, I need to constantly evaluate the answers to the following questions:   Why do I do it?  How well am I doing it?  Could I be doing more?  Could I be doing something differently?  How have kids changed since I started down this path?  How have I changed?  And finally, am I an effective and integral member of the CBMS team?  My path and my connections to previous work experiences help shape me as a counselor and as an individual.  In turn, who I am as a person informs my work as your school counselor.  

 

I am not the new kid on the block anymore.  I have lots of practical experience, kids of my own, and a self-confidence that comes from understanding one’s role in a specific workplace.  I know the families and family histories of many of the students I currently work with.  Often times, I know the kids coming in the door before they actually come in the door.  I can clearly define, in my own mind, the impact that I want to have on kids who enter and then graduate, from Crossett Brook.  But am I still effective?  What is my role in this new age of social media and high anxiety?  It is good to reflect on my practice so that I can continue to be a positive force for my students.    

Though I know my role, the students who enter each year as fifth-graders don’t know me when they come in the door, and though they get a better understanding of me each successive year, their knowledge of the role the school counselor plays or could play, in their lives is sometimes shallow.  Additionally, a parent’s understanding of my role might be based only on what they remember from their high school days 20 or 30  years ago when ‘guidance counselors’ were more focused on managing your grades and class schedule than supporting emotional and social wellbeing. Today’s counselor is deeply invested in that social/emotional development which ensures success on whatever life path the student eventually chooses.

Here is a peek at how I work to develop relationships with the students at CBMS.  At the start of each new school year, I go to the fifth-grade classrooms to explain my role, describe what I can do to support them, and discuss why kids might come to visit me in my office.  In addition, this year, I implemented a new minute meeting strategy.  I met with every student in the building during the months of September/October.  I was able to ask them questions about how the year was going, and more specifically did they have teachers/staff they could trust to support them at school, friends they could turn to, and adults that they like to talk with at home?  I was able to remind all kids of my role, and hopefully make myself more accessible to them.  After meeting all students, I run various social skills groups with other staff members and reach out to kids when requested by teachers, parents or the student themselves.  In general, I make sure I know all kids first and last names, and I try to connect with them informally in the hallways and classrooms as they move through the building.    

   

Despite often reminding kids that my job is to support them in positive ways when the chips are down, many kids see me coming and immediately think, “am I in trouble," or, "have I done something wrong?”  I always have to reassure them that they are not in trouble.  I do understand why kids sometimes think this.  At times, after talking with them I have to call home to discuss a concern or develop an action plan.  Even though I almost always let kids know that I am going to do this, they still view it as a negative consequence of coming to my space.  Generally, however, for those kids who do visit regularly, they have a pretty positive view of how I operate.  I try to be fair, respectful, honest, relaxed, and supportive.    

Overall, I wish that both communities and students had a more accepting view of supporting emotional and mental wellness.  I suspect that many kids never cross my doorstep because they view it as a weakness and don’t want to be seen as someone that, “has a problem.”  To those kids, I would say that reaching out does not equal weakness.  It is the very opposite of that.  Reaching out and asking for support, even for what may seem like trivial issues displays strength, courage, and positive advocacy skills.  Think back to that ASCA model - School counseling programs are collaborative and school counselors should be partners in student achievement.  As parents, don’t hesitate to encourage your child to seek support for day to day struggles or the bigger challenges in life.  Being able to ask for help is a life skill that will serve them well in their futures.  There will be times that they have to share health issues with physicians, discuss relationship issues with partners and spouses, advocate for their core values with teachers and professors, and even reflect within to make personal choices on life’s path.  This is my job - to set them down this winding road in positive directions.  I hope that each day when I open my door to welcome kids,  I can be successful in this endeavor.